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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Chocolate
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories.
As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on
weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate
in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate
caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165
pounds.
So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away
to nothing about 3 months ago!
I owe my life to chocolate!
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Now I must make my own calculations....
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Maybe thats why my wife has me on a diet trying to get rid of me through natural wastage, goodbye diet.
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
" I just checked the health/weight chart at the gym
and it turns out that I'm four inches too short ."
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Everything I need to know I learnt from a cow
Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!
The grass is green on the other side of the fence.
Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.
Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!
It's better to be seen and not herd.
Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.
Never take any bull from anybody.
Always let them know who's the bossy.
Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.
Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.
Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when
suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go
back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "What are you worried about?
We're both here."
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Not-Too-Swift
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.
I said "May I have large bills, please?"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same
size."
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
A man walked into a bar carrying a chequered flag.
"I hope you're not going to start anything in here," warned the barman.
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
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Re: Clean Humor Thread
That Was Great ! Love it !