"madhatter's Joke Of The Day"

[madhatter1]

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be eight again" she replied.

On the morning of her birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and then took her off to the local theme park.

What a Day! He put her on every ride in the park: The Death Slide, The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
refreshing chocolate milk shake.

Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

"I meant my dress size, you bloody idiot!"


The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong.

That's more like it people joining in GOOD joke that one and Brians

[MyHeartsMyFlowers]

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal of it, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

(I always wondered how this trend got started)

[MyHeartsMyFlowers]

Only just noticed the 'star' thing - voted now!

[madhatter1]

An Ode to Old Age
There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know, But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart

[madhatter1]

MADHATTERS RECIPES OF THE DAY just felt I had to do it as I have about 20,000 of them

thaks for the stars I feel i'm not wasting my time when there is paticipation LOL

[kengillam]

Ok so what are the star things then I guess its a voting system but where?

[nysablaze]

At the top Ken, where it says rating. If you click on it, it allows you to rate the thread

[kengillam]

Nope can't see it can you give me more directions as to what and where.

[kengillam]

Aah its just appeared, my connection dropped it must have logged me out!

[madhatter1]

Men vs.Women
Any married man should forget his mistakes -- There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.