"madhatter's Joke Of The Day"

[madhatter1]

Old Age Secret Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

[madhatter1]

this looks promising

[betsyboo]

Glad to be drunk

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

[betsyboo]

Needs

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

The husband says " WHAT???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says "but you don 't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.'

The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says " I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. "

The husband says, " no no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.

" No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says " You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"

[madhatter1]

News on this link for brain auction

LOOK
V
V

http://helpdesk.ebid.net/showthread....d=1#post386056

CHANGE OF AUCTION FORMAT PART 1

[madhatter1]

[madhatter1]

ME !

For thinking I could help this site get noticed and raise money for charity , is it worth the hassle?

[madhatter1]

THIS IS A TRANSCRIPT OF AN E-MAIL SENT IN REPLY TO SUPPORT RE. SUSPENDING ME AND WHY
1st.from me to support:-
> Why have I been barred again ?.
> Please explain .
> Just e-mail me if you think I am doing wrong,my brain auction is just trying
> to get us noticed and do a bit for charity.
> I don't want to - upset - offend - con - spam - do any wrong at all - sell
> anything illegal - etc.
> I will not do anything until I consult the managers of e-bid,what started
> off as a laugh could actually benefit the whole site if handled correctly,
> JUST SPEAK TO ME,NOT JUST SUSPEND MY ACCOUNT OUT OF HAND.
> Derrick aka madhatter1 drslade@yahoo.co.uk

2nd their reply:-
"Hi Derrick,
We asked you twice to refrain from listing 'BRAIN IN CONTAINER'. You agreed, and then went on to relist! Please clarify.
eBid Support Team"

Don't think so!!!!

3rd. my reply:-
Hi ! Well this is a bit of a quandary .
1st. I was never asked to refrain from listing "brain in container" I was just suspended out of hand with no prior warning.
2nd. I did not agree to not listing , it must of been an assumption on your part.
3rd.I never re-listed it you must have put it back up when you re-instated my account.
If you want me to take listing off I will quite happily do so, JUST ASK!
If you just want me to re-word it so it is obviously not a serious auction or a real brain just say so or basically if you want me just to close my account and sod off just say so .
Derrick---Madhatter

Now if i am in the wrong I will give in and go if not where's my apology??

quote-
Honest I'm not really selling my BRAIN it was a joke auction, just trying to put some humour in all our live's and attract attention to our site . Maybe I will auction ,-a piece of rope, a paper clip,or some pixel's on a web page,...

" ME SORRY I AFFEND THEE "

LUV DERRICK AKA "The Madhatter"

[debbieslittlestars]

you guys all need to get together and talk like a lot of things these days maybe it was computer software that took your listing off and back on .....

[madhatter1]

you guys all need to get together and talk like a lot of things these days maybe it was computer software that took your listing off and back on .....

That's all I asked for !